This is a laser engraved cutting board on a bamboo board that measures 10 x 14" with a metallic handle.  The handles vary in shade and include brushed silver, rose gold, antiqued gold, and gold.  Wood grain and engraving depth/intensity varied due to the natural grain of the wood.  

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

This is a laser engraved cutting board on a bamboo board that measures 10 x 14" with a metallic handle.  The handles vary in shade and include brushed silver, rose gold, antiqued gold, and gold.  Wood grain and engraving depth/intensity varied due to the natural grain of the wood.  

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

MADE TO ORDER!

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

MADE TO ORDER!

First photo shown is a quick closeup in my hand.   

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

MADE TO ORDER!

First photo shown is an example of how the finished board looks.  

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

I'm really stirring the pot with some of these spoons.  Consensual Spanking Spoon?  Yes please.  It Ain't Gonna Lick Itself?  Duh.  Spooning Leads to Forking.  So, Stir It Up Little Darlin'! Lick Me.  Spoon Me.  Scoop There It Is.  B!tch Peas.  Witch Peas. Kitchen Witch,  About to Stir Up Some Sh!t. 

Oh and the 2pc set with one regular spoon and one slotted spoon?  We Love Tossing Salad, You're So Romaine-tic?  That's just ridiculous, but that's me to a T.  LOL. 

These are basic bamboo spoons, made amazing with the magick of laser technology and my dad-joke brain.  You're welcome.  Want something else?  Something custom?  I can do that!  :)

Happy Holidays! I'm offering these adorable custom trays which are engraved on bamboo or maple cutting boards that measure about 8.5" by 11" and treated with a food grade chopping board oil. 

These make the perfect tray to place out every year on Christmas Eve with your family. There's room for one to two lines of text after the "With Love," and most people choose either children's names or the family name. Consider whether the family may have more children in the past when making your choice. 

Ex1:  The Beckett Family

Ex2: Felix

Ex3: Derek and Lucas

I can also make edits to the language/theme if you have other traditions. Let's chat about it!

FINAL LOOK WILL VARY:

TURNAROUND TIME:

• My turnaround time on these is 2 weeks, so order by 12/12 to have them by Christmas Eve.

FREE LOCAL DELIVERY:

• I live in Sonoma County CA, and can deliver for free for anywhere in Sonoma or Marin County (except very coastal west county areas).
• If you choose to have it shipped, please allow up to 14 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you.  

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish with a light coating of mineral oil once a year.
  

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Does this item look good but it's not exactly what you need? I do custom orders too!  Let's talk about what you'd like made. 

I love cheese. Also, apparently dad jokes.  Sue me.  

MADE TO ORDER!

I created this design, which shows a Brie Round and the saying "We Brie Long Together"  Once ordered, I will engrave your sassy cutting board (your choice of size and wood) with the design, which will be placed in the lower right corner of the board, unless you specify you'd like it otherwise. Please put instructions in the note when you place it in the cart. Thank you!

Photos are mockups!  First photo shows it close up and the second photo is what it would look like on the medium bamboo cutting board which is 9.5" tall by 13" wide.  

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

Well, somebody woke up and chose anger!  It be like that sometimes.

MADE TO ORDER!

I created this design, which shows a butcher's knife illustration and the saying "Don't Make Me Cut a Witch"  Once ordered, I will engrave your sassy cutting board (your choice of size and wood) with the design, which will be placed in the lower right corner of the board, unless you specify you'd like it otherwise. Please put instructions in the note when you place it in the cart. Thank you!

Photos are mockups!  First photo shows it close up and the second photo is what it would look like on the medium bamboo cutting board which is 9.5" tall by 13" wide.  

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

I'm not worried, you got this.  Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy

MADE TO ORDER!

I created this design, which shows a lemon illustration and the saying "Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy"  Once ordered, I will engrave your sassy cutting board (your choice of size and wood) with the design, which will be placed in the lower right corner of the board, unless you specify you'd like it otherwise. Please put instructions in the note when you place it in the cart. Thank you!

Photos are mockups!  First photo shows it close up and the second photo is what it would look like on the medium bamboo cutting board which is 9.5" tall by 13" wide.  

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

Witch Girl Wasted anyone?  

MADE TO ORDER!

I created this design, which shows a lemon illustration and the saying "When life gives you lemons, make a tequila sour"  Once ordered, I will engrave your sassy cutting board (your choice of size and wood) with the design, which will be placed in the lower right corner of the board, unless you specify you'd like it otherwise. Please put instructions in the note when you place it in the cart. Thank you!

Photos are mockups!  First photo shows it close up and the second photo is what it would look like on the medium bamboo cutting board which is 9.5" tall by 13" wide.  

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

Witch Girl Wasted anyone?  

MADE TO ORDER!

I created this design, which shows a lemon illustration and the saying "When life gives you lemons, just add vodka"  Once ordered, I will engrave your sassy cutting board (your choice of size and wood) with the design, which will be placed in the lower right corner of the board, unless you specify you'd like it otherwise. Please put instructions in the note when you place it in the cart. Thank you!

First photo shows it as a mockup of what it would look like on the small bamboo cutting board which is 8.5" tall by 11.5" wide.  

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

Don't count the days.  Make the days count!  This will make all your slicing and dicing moments fun and inspiring.  I hope it brings you or someone you love lots of smiles.  

MADE TO ORDER!

I created this design, which shows a lemon illustration and the saying "Squeeze the Day"  Once ordered, I will engrave your sassy cutting board (your choice of size and wood) with the design, which will be placed in the lower right corner of the board, unless you specify you'd like it otherwise. Please put instructions in the note when you place it in the cart. Thank you!

Photos are mockups!  First photo shows it closeup.  Second photo is what it would look like on the small bamboo cutting board which is 8.5" tall by 11.5" wide.  

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

I say, oh little... oh little darling, don't shed no tears!

You're going to though, cuz onions. 

MADE TO ORDER!

I created this design, which shows an onion illustration and the saying "No Woman No Cry"  Once ordered, I will engrave your sassy cutting board (your choice of size and wood) with the design, which will be placed in the lower right corner of the board, unless you specify you'd like it otherwise. Please put instructions in the note when you place it in the cart. Thank you!

Photos are mockups!  First photo shows it closeup.  Second is what it would look like on the small bamboo cutting board which is 8.5" tall by 11.5" wide.  

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk! 

I cannot and I mean CANNOT cut onions without crying.  The only way I get through the process is denying that I'm crying and verbally abusing the onion with an onslaught of curses and hexes.  Someday I will make THE ONION cry.  Until then, I'll just cry and laugh.

MADE TO ORDER!

I created this design, which shows an onion illustration and the saying "I'm not Crying, You're Crying."  Once ordered, I will engrave your sassy cutting board (your choice of size and wood) with the design, which will be placed in the lower right corner of the board, unless you specify you'd like it otherwise. Please put instructions in the note when you place it in the cart. Thank you!

First photo shows it on a bamboo cutting board which is 6" tall by 8.5" wide.  That's the perfect petite board to chop an onion, tomato, lime, garlic, and guacamole, wait is this becoming a GUAC board!???  :)

I have several boards in stock as shown in the photos, but I can also use a different size/material upon request and depending upon current supply.  My wholesale vendors are struggling to keep boards in stock so I gotta admit... I source the boards at my local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Home Goods and Tuesday Morning.  My stock is always changing. LOL. 

TURNAROUND TIME:

I make the finished product after you've ordered.  I will complete within 2 business days and ship out by the third business day.  Please allow up to 10 business days for it to arrive in the mail to you. 

SHIPPING COST:

Shipping on oversized/heavy cutting boards are $10 flat or free when your total order is above $75 (including all other items).  Local delivery is only $5.  Local pickup is FREE!

CARE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Hand wash only, dry thoroughly.
• Finish once or twice a year with a light coating of mineral oil.

I TAKE CUSTOM ORDERS:

Want this to say something else? I do custom orders too!   Let's talk!